Friday, October 31
Oh man, I just feel rotten today, totally down. A wave of disappointment and wretchedness washes over me. I just don't feel good.
Can you believe it? I failed my piano exam.
Posted by Isabelle at 8:52 pm
Tuesday, October 28
Yay, school's officially finishing in about... 9 day's time... Finally... The long awaited holiday... Now about chinese exam, I know I'm having chinese in 10 day's time, but I'm kinda slack about it... No deal... Haiz...
Posted by Isabelle at 10:12 pm
Sunday, October 26
Ok, I guess it was the ending of the year that made me slightly more philosophical nowadays... (And probably the classical music that's playing in the background...) But anyway, it's a year over, more or less. (Actually there's still two months left, but I'm gloating over my post exams period already... Hehe...) Just wanna to recap whatever I've done, and to make new resolutions, although I never seem to fulfil those wretched promises... Oh well... (Shit, now Britney's playing and I have mental block...)
...... (Switches to Red Hot Chilli Pepper...)
Where was I? Oh ya, now that I've realised, this Rip Van Winkle thingy has been stuck with me for the better part of the week, and I think I want to air it out. I haven't felt this way ever since... I don't know, I doubt I've felt this way so acutely before. Sec 3 was too hectic to make me feel any sense of loss... Ya, that's how I pharse it, a sense of loss and disorientation. Sec 4 I was still running on treadmills for my 'O's, and before I knew what was happening, I was shipped to Kuching and back again for my JC 1 orientation. Right now, even as I speak, people are burning oils and grabbing Buddha's legs for the last minute catching up. But for me, though as much as PW irks me to the max, I can't find the enthusiasm that should have kept going for the next two months. Not even the thought of JC 2 appeals to me.
(Bosson's 'Where Are You' starts playing... Quite apt...)
Ok, fine, so I am just a little crappy, who would complain for a bit of extra time given to you? I would, coz I just lost my direction in life. There's nothing much for me go on. Promo's over, I earned my grades... so? Yah, that's just great. Kuching trip's coming, yay... but surprise, there's no spark in it. Life's just sort of cooled down. Coz I am not in Xinmin? Probably.
('Tell me, Have you ever love and lost somebody, wished there was a chance to... Yah, that's the song...)
So what? Don't complain, coz I should learn to accept my present fate and stop visiting ghosts of the past? Come on, I'm the complain queen around here, but I know better than to groan and grumble about the drastic changes that's happening in my life. Life's just not worthy of your constant sulking and puking. But well, it's just a phase I have to go through, and everyone goes through. I know people come and people leave, that's a constant in life, but I do hope people understand that it's not the ultimatum in life. People change, so be it. Accept things that come your way.
(Zhou Jie Lun's 'Shi Jie Mo Ri' starts... Oh man... How many times must I say it's not the end??!!)
Posted by Isabelle at 5:23 pm
Saturday, October 25
~~Shoes~~
There was just this tingling evening breeze, coupled with the cool post-rain feeling, which blew past me as I shut the gate just outside Vennie’s house. I don’t know, but as I looked up to glance at her front door, it was closed, for the first time. And immediately, I knew something was bothering me. Not really bothering, actually, but I was stumped for an answer. It was suddenly that a question popped out from nowhere – just what if I was Vennie?
No, it’s not the type of ‘living in people’s shoes’ kind of feeling, but to actually project your character on a person, and see yourself behave in that person’s circumstances. The idea is totally different from being in that person’s character and understanding him or her.
Confused? I am too.
Let’s just start with me living in Vennie’s shoes but being myself. Just imagine waking up to a laptop, playstation, a bed, and your own room. I know these aren’t things everyone likes, but hey, I am myself, and I happen to like these things. I know myself. The many things that I can get hold of would have spoilt me rotten. I am neither envious nor jealous, but I am just stating a fact. Living under a roof with two siblings would have driven me crazy, though I once rashly mentioned I wanted a brother.
I start to wonder if I were living like her, would I be what I am today? Here I am, typing some incoherent sentences, but if I were in her house right now, would I ever finish what I wanted to say? Would I even be able to feel what I am feeling now?
And would my parents have lived together that way? I might not have to travel yearly to see my dad. But I like my present arrangement. Actually, not like, but accustomed. Who would like to see his or her parents separated? But perhaps, just a little, it makes me feel better that way.
Would I be this…? Would I be that…? Fascinating? Hey, we are only on the tip of the iceberg. Wondered how you yourself would turn out to be? Hell, it’s a world of possibilities.
It’s a comparison between two complete different people. I really don’t know, and I doubt I would ever will.
Do you understand?
Posted by Isabelle at 11:05 pm
blah..this is just a boring sickening intimidating horrible endless compromising irritable neverending dumb senseless task. - Ven
Posted by Isabelle at 6:41 pm
Friday, October 24
Did I just fall asleep one fine day and wake up to realise that I've slept through my life like Rip Van Winkle?
Posted by Isabelle at 10:01 pm
Ok, I'm pretty surprised at my marks... (I didn't fail anything!! Yay!!) Anyway, I just kinda thought things out, and realised just this lil one thing - Life's getting shorter. I mean, you don't see the year passing just like ziiipppp (Or do you?)... and it's gone.
Kinda too happening throughout this year, and I can barely catch my breath around here. Promo's finished, results are out, I'm gonna be JC 2 next year, I have only about a month before I leave for Kuching, I have tons of chalets planned out for me to go, and it's near NOVEMBER already. Fast huh?
I didn't even have time to confirm myself that I am actually a ex-xinmin person. I haven't really gotten used to college life. I cannot believe that I am already in JC 1, finishing my year in one week. Is life gonna be just like that for me? That I keep living in the past, forgetting my present self?
'A' levels seems so far away, but it's only a year from here. I wonder next year life's gonna be the same too?
Posted by Isabelle at 10:00 pm
Monday, October 20
Hey, right here slacking over at Ven's house again... But would you believe it? Torn over at her house? Oh man... Life's miracles... Hehe... Anyway, I am supposed to "help" her with her maths over here, so I'm staying over, but quite ironic leh, she's still talking on the phone... Funny yar? Waste time only, that person... If she don't finish her phone fast, I'm gonna sleep...
Posted by Isabelle at 12:01 am
Wednesday, October 15
Woooo... Can't believe it, but my exams are ending in ONE day!!!! Friday for physics MCQ, and I'll be free from my J1 studies... Except PW... Damn... Shucks... Oh well, I can't have everything become a bed of roses can I?
Posted by Isabelle at 9:39 pm
Sunday, October 12
Arh!!! It's physics tomorrow!! but I don't care anyway. It's quite sianz liaoz, studying... I think I give up... Fail then fail... Gonna slack...
Posted by Isabelle at 9:56 pm
Saturday, October 11
Woo... it's finally saturday, but only one day more to promos... the sense of trepidation... the gripping fear and the torturous anxiety... oh man... I am crapping again... haha... Can't believe I'm still scribbling away here while the rest of my class are buring their heads in books and lecture notes and tutorials and whatever they can find their heads in... Wahaha... it's gonna be a fun week... But wait till next week comes... Hehe...
Posted by Isabelle at 7:07 pm
Wednesday, October 8
This week very lax man... I am going school tomorrow, but I would be ponning lessons to go library. Not that anyone care... hehe... It's really that slack... No teacher's taking attendance now... Woo... Haha... Yeah, it's going to be a fun week...
Posted by Isabelle at 8:15 pm
Tuesday, October 7
Yeah!! Not going school tomorrow!! Haha... I am quite slack, but at least when I pon I study for promos... Really... I'm studying for chem tomorrow, hope I really finish it soon... I still have physics to catch up with... haiz... promos... nah, shan't think about it...
Posted by Isabelle at 10:55 pm
Monday, October 6
I think haven't been totally onto my work, even though promos' nearing. Oh man, suddenly I feel overwhelmed, but my classmates say I'm fine and everything. What do they know anyway?? Just felt insecure... And the worst thing is that I still can feel slack about it. I know, I should be doing my work instead of on net and updating my blog, but somehow I just don't feel the urge to start on revision.
Someone help me??
Posted by Isabelle at 9:31 pm
Friday, October 3
You're Most Like The Season Autumn ...
You're warm, and the most approachable. You have
that gentle prescence about you. People can
relate to you, and find you easy company.
However it's likely you've been hurt in the
past and it has left you scarred so things can
become rather chilly with you at times. Being
the third Season in, you're mature, trustworthy
and loyal to your friends but prone to
depression and negative thinking.
Well done... You're the shy and sensitive season :)
?? Which Season Are You ??
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Posted by Isabelle at 5:23 pm
Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
A cynic is someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.
You have no idea how acutely depressing it is to realize we're from the same species.
Posted by Isabelle at 5:18 pm
Morpheus
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
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Posted by Isabelle at 5:11 pm
Erm, oh well, I am over at Ven's house using HER latest laptop... Cool, but I don't want her to hear me say that!! Haha... Ok, I think I should start updating my blog, since it's collecting dust... I bet no one's coming up to check on it... Oh man, but I am busy!! Promos yah? Ok? I know people have the 'A's and their 'O's too, but mince come first, so that's different. Hehe... Anyway, I am just updating for fun. Nothing really much to say about...
Posted by Isabelle at 5:09 pm
Aesthete
The ULTIMATE personality test
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